How To Get Over Your Insecurities
The world has became a hateful place. We criticize one another, jealous of each other's success, try to slander each others names, and isolate people we do not like. Having insecurities has actually became relatively "normal". It is more rare to find someone with no insecurities, than it is to find someone with at least one insecurity. Whether it be looks, financial stability, physical abilities, or anything else, people are always insecure about SOMETHING. And honestly, I understand why. We have became such a hateful species that we have started to expect hate. We expect the insults, the lies, the staring, the pointing you out, even the isolation. We expect being judged and that shows what this world has become. We have fought for a long time over the freedom to be who you are, yet even with our own right to do so, we fear judgement for who we are. No one, and I repeat NO ONE should fear judgement from another person. We have no right to do so, and we have no reason to do so. With that being said, people are always going to judge. We must learn to deal with this world and become stronger than the chains that keep us from going further in expressing ourselves. So today I want to share with you all ways I have gotten over my own insecurities and how you too get get over your own regardless of how intense or minuscule it may be.
Realize Everyone Is Different
You need to first realize that everyone (even twins) are different. We all look different, think differently, eat differently, enjoy different things, and perceive the same situation differently. We tend to fall into this conforming state of mind where we want to fit in, belong, and have a place we feel as one with others. The only problem with that is like comparing this world of people with a puzzle. Have you ever worked on a jigsaw puzzle? Pieces that are different link together in order to form this beautiful image. That beautiful image represents this world. The image is not just beautiful because of it's superficial display, but also because it's ability to be complex yet complete, divided but complete, separate but working together. Our differences together make up a beautiful world. If all pieces were the same, there would be jagged edges or pieces that do not fit. The image is never fully complete without different pieces. We must realize there is a place for difference in this world and is actually the beauty of it. Same jobs, same people, same voices, same hobbies, same life.....what's the fun and mystery in that?
Rid Yourself Of Toxic People
Sometimes our insecurities do not originate from ourselves, but from the words of those "close" to us. I say "close" lightly, because people can be close in your inner circle, but with the wrong reason. One step you must take is to reevaluate who you are around and who you talk to. Do the people around you make you feel less of a person, ugly, not smart, looks at you weird when you discuss any of your interests or something you want to do, or just make you feel overall down when around them? These people can be toxic to your personal growth and ability to love/express yourself. Learn to avoid these people. If they are necessary for your life (family, roommates, classmates, or co-workers) then minimize your social time with them. Listen to music, find a hobby (or more hobbies), or find other friends/people to talk to and spend time with. Toxic people do not have the power to control your life, you do!
Change What You Can
Sometimes change is important. I do not like to think of it as change though. I think of it as "evolving" into the person you will become. Some changes are physical, some mental, and some social. If you are insecure about your looks (depending on exactly what it is), you can change them. Wear your hair differently, go exercise/diet, wear a different set of clothes, etc. I do not suggest make up or surgery, because that only further facilitates insecurity. Find something you can embrace. If it is more mental, try to find ways to overcome whatever it is holding you back (if anxiety is one of them, check out my blog post covering how to overcome social anxiety). Specific things you can actually change in order to become the person you want to be without losing a piece of yourself or covering who you really are. Being over weight, having anxieties, and being financially instability are all examples.
Speak With Those Who Are Similar
Not only must you realize that everyone is different, but you must also realize that there are people out there with the same issues. How else am I able to write to you all about complex topics involving issues/disorders/mindsets that can change your life? Because I have experienced them. By reading posts like these you can see that others experience these issues as well (you are not alone), but also there are people who have won over their inner demons and are here to help those still fighting for their life. You can find people with similar issues or problems on forums like "reddit" or on platforms like "Youtube" where some people are open/speak about their issues. You must realize that you are different, but you are in fact not alone.
Work With Your Strengths
When it comes to insecurities, you are usually insecure about your weaknesses. These weaknesses could be your social skills, physical attributes, or mentality. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, focus on what you can in fact do. Scared to be social in person, but very tech savvy? Socialize online and get to know people and their interests before meeting them. Maybe you are good at socializing, but get too anxious when being stared at. You can record speeches or vlog your thoughts and upload them to platforms like "Youtube". Maybe you want to get in shape, but are intimidated by your physical capabilities. You can perform home workouts until you are confident enough to go work out at the gym. There are always ways to work on your strength while you work on and become confident with your weaknesses.
Embrace Being Different
Last but not least, learn to embrace what makes you different! If we were all the same, this world would be completely boring. Embrace what makes you......YOU. Know that someone out there is looking for someone just like you. Know that someone out there wishes they were in your spot. Never forget that you are unique, different, and one of a kind. There are people out there with the same problem/issue/insecurity. Much like in my article "Taking Advantage Of Your Depression", to be happy with yourself you must express yourself. Without expression and embracing, we have depression/suppression and insecurities. Express, do not depress.
In order to overcome your insecurities, you must do the following (these are general guidelines, not set in stone rules):
1) Realize that everyone in this world is different and unique in their own way.
2) Rid yourself of the toxic people in your life that may be the cause of your insecurities.
3) Change the things that you can change in order to feel better about yourself (positive changes, no masking or extreme actions).
4) Talk with those who are going through the same thing.
5) Learn to embrace and express YOUR OWN UNIQUENESS!